Walk

as in

"I’m going for a walk."

Variations: "I’m going upstairs ... downstairs ... into the loft ... into the cellar ... to look at some cars ... stars ... to get some air ... exercise."

Let’s give him some credit for his initiative here. At least he is doing something for a change, not simply sitting on the couch or reading the paper.

But what has put this sudden spring into his step, what has launched him into this frenzy of activity? Some new concern for his health? The salutary desire to tick off at least one item from his lengthy "must do" list?

Unfortunately it is more likely to be you that has been the catalyst, and not necessarily because your nagging has finally taken effect. Unfortunately it is more likely to have been some innocuous thing that you said or didn’t say, some slight deed that you did or didn’t do.

As a consequence he is all confused about you and him and the meaning of life and needs to get away to collect his wits.

Invariably it is best to let him go, even though you would rather he stayed and did whatever it is that you have been hoping he would do - tidy up his old pizza boxes, hack his way through the grime in his bathroom or simply run through a list of why you are so wonderful.

There is no doubt that he will be good for nothing until he has had his time out. To him in this condition - okay, let’s call a spade a spade, he’s sulking - he needs to be left alone.

Of course it would be ever so helpful if he could give you some idea when he might be back as one normally would when going out but in his condition - while he’s sulking - matters such as time and space are irrelevant.

It would also help to know what he is actually going to be doing while he is AWOL but this likewise is off limits. Suffice to say it is unlikely to be remotely close to what he might suggest and is very likely to involve alcohol. In most relationships, about one "walk" a week is acceptable.