Spontaneous

as in

"Can't you be more spontaneous?"

Variations: "Why won’t you let yourself go once and awhile?... Don’t you ever feel like doing something wild?... I want you to be free."

Talking about sex again, is he? Perhaps not explicitly. Perhaps you are only having a meal and he is suggesting you be a little more liberal with the salt and pepper. "Go on, baby, indulge yourself, let your spirit take over, go with the flow." But at the back of his mind, sex is lurking.

Perhaps he is complaining about your attempts to get him to commit to a programme for the next two or three months, battling your plea to know what the two of you are going to be doing, at least for the next day or two, perhaps even the next hour or two, him answering, "Relax, don’t think so much, don’t put so much pressure on yourself." But at the back of his mind, sex is lurking.

Oh, at times he also means literally what he is saying. Since he thinks of himself as some god-like figure who responds instinctively to the huge ebbs and flows of the world- (Oh? Just ask him to switch over from his favourite programme for a minute and you’ll see how spontaneous he is!) - he probably does want you to open your mind and let yourself go a little.

(Note: this is only as long as your liberation doesn’t lead to you neglecting him. What he is advocating is a kind of selective wildness - if you asked him he would probably give you a list of when and when not to be rash, spirited, unleashed.)

Even so he is mainly talking about more freedom for himself, not you. For you to stop telling him not to do things rather than for you to get on and surprise him.

Except, of course, when it comes to sex. Boy, does he mean it when he calls for spontaneity there.

* See also: "Adventurous", "Humorous" ..