Museums

as in

"I love museums."

Variations: "I love the theatre / opera / art galleries / classical music / parades / seminars / etc etc ..."

This is a tricky one. It all depends on the girl. Usually you can take it for granted that she is exaggerating. What she means is that she once went to a museum or an opera or a gallery or a play or a concert and had fun or cried - or both - and the memory of that one experience is enough for her to talk dreamily about this cultural wonder as if it was an everyday experience.

In this case, there is no need for alarm. She obviously isn’t going to be going to museums / galleries / theatres / concerts too often and when she does, you should be able to struggle through or even beg off.

The tricky thing is that this deluded girl doesn’t sound any different from - or any less convincing than - the one who actually does love museums / operas / concerts / galleries. There may be a few clues elsewhere - terrible clothes, long, dangerous nails, something wrong with her eyes. Do look for signs because she is definitely an animal to avoid.

She doesn’t only mean she “loves” galleries / operas / concerts / plays or whatever the hell else but that she actually lives, eats, breathes and sleeps with them.

And she will expect you to do the same, however accommodating she may sound when you first discuss the subject.

Be very careful not to pretend any enthusiasm for such occupations no matter how much you want to sleep with her.