Listening

as in

"You’re not listening to me."

Variations: "You’re not paying attention ... You’re not hearing what I am saying ... You never seem to get the point."

So you are not "listening". Not "hearing". Not "paying attention." If only that were possible! Trouble is that he is going on at you like a manic drill sergeant with a gaggle of new recruits. Screaming. Yelling at the top of his lungs. The same thing over and over. Again and again. You can’t not hear him. The whole neighbourhood can’t not hear him.

But frankly, his volume and repetition aren’t much help, are they? It’s a little like those key announcements the train and tube operators make on their public address systems - the louder they go, the less information you get.

The best action is to stay calm because, when he is talking in this tone of voice, whatever he means is almost certainly not what he’s saying. It’s not his fault - poor lamb - he simply doesn’t know what’s upsetting him.

If he is going on about what he says he told you he wanted for dinner, he is probably actually talking about the fact that his team lost some obscure match last week.

If he is ranting about wanting you to pay him more attention, he is probably actually talking about the fact that one of his mates has a new girlfriend who sits doe-eyed watching him wash the car without ever questioning his most outrageous opinions.

It may even have occurred to him for the first time that life is not perfect - that he can’t always have everything he wants his way - and that he expects you to sort that out for him. What good are you if you can’t alleviate global suffering, climate change, human mortality and the club’s three game losing streak?

If you wait long enough, the tempest will pass. He won’t expect any less from you but his sudden insights will be forgotten and his expectations reduced. With luck, his team might even win, just as a train or tube will probably turn up. Sometime.