Joking

as in

"I was only joking."

Variations: "I meant it as a joke ... It’s a joke .... Can’t you take a joke? .... Where is your sense of humour?"

To understand this, you might do well to see a bit of stand-up comedy or some old movie starring Woody Allen or Steve Martin or even Austin Powers to confirm that you can tell an joke from a poke in the eye as well as anyone and that you can laugh loudly at the bits that are funny.

Because now he wants you to believe he is ... get this ... a comedian. Presumably not the reason you got involved with him in the first place. A sense of humour, yes, you wanted that. But a non-stop gagster? I don’t think so. Too tiring by half.

Most likely his initial claims to a GSOH were only meant to signify some ability to be amused - rather than to amuse others, whatever he would like to believe. One way or the other he may have given it his best shot. If he has just been talking about bishops, sheep or blondes with big hooters - or more likely all three of these together - he probably was joking, literally. In which case, give him a break. (But don’t say it was funny, whatever you do. That would be dangerously encouraging.)

On the other hand, if he has said things like: “I don’t feel like going now" or, "Why do we always have to do what you want?” or, ”You look fat in that dress” (or, slightly more polished, “Haven’t you got anything else to wear?”) you might like to be less generous. Even he can not be quite so devoid of genuine humour as that, can he?.

Most serious of all, if his “joke” was along the lines of: “I think we should see other people" or, "I don’t care what you think” or, one of the classic punch lines of all time, “I’m going out and I’m not coming back,” drastic action is called for, no matter what he says about going for the funny bone.

More positively, whatever prompts his claim to have been jesting, he clearly feels regret, which is something. And in all likelihood, he has realised again that he is not as talented or attractive as you after all and wants to be taken back into captivity. Only he can’t quite admit he was wrong. So much easier for him to be thought a bad comedian than found out to be undeserving of you.