All

as in

"All I want is for us to be happy"

Variations: "All I want is to get some sleep ... to be left alone ... for you to be honest with me ... to have a decent relationship."

Oh! Everything sounds so easy when she prefaces her requests with the simple word “all”, doesn’t it? “I see”, you think. “That’s ALL she wants. Nothing much. Only a little bit." You snap your fingers, thinking that you understand what is needed at last. Just a closed door to ensure a little peace or a few words of kindness and all will be well. You snap your fingers, thinking, “Hey, even I can manage that."

But take the word literally at your peril.

“All” in this case actually means: “There are only about one hundred and fifty things that are annoying me right now - make that one thousand one hundred
and fifty - and you, yes, you, you’re to blame for all of them.”

“If you know what is good for you, you’ll strip off your clothes, get down on your knees and offer to be my slave forever.”

If you ask her about this, she will deny it, of course. Because in her current, anxious state she actually believes that she doesn’t want much. Simply for you to fix the plumbing or set the table or make her happy sometimes. Even she doesn’t want to admit how different she would like you to be all at once. A step at a time, that’s her motto.

Best option: give in now and then but never assume that that will be the end.